That day
when I realized that I was so tired for falling someone who will never catch me. It’s
my fault I know. Not actually MY fault, but my heart’s fault. Then comes my
mind. My mind let my heart fall for the wrong person. Going back, I was too
tired that I even shouted “I’ve had enough of this nonsense” I’m really tired
of loving him for almost 2 years. Gosh, why am I so stupid? I pity myself for
letting my heart break into thousand pieces.
I woke up
the next day saying to myself “Did I just let my heart free? Have I really
moved on?” Well YES! and I am really glad. After a week, I saw him AGAIN. After a
month without any communication. Then for some reasons, he initiated a hug? I’m
like “WTH is that all about?” What was he thinking? My heart was once again
disturbed by that move. I did not feel any butterflies in my stomach like what
I was supposed to feel. I just felt uneasy and a little awkward. That’s when I
realized, I have moved on. REALLY.
Then an
event came, and a new guy came into my life. I hated him but as time passes by
for some weird reasons he won’t leave my mind. I am always thinking of him “Do
I like him?” Am I really attracted to him? Am I attracted to the person I swore
not like? Oh c’mon, my heart is messing up with me again. Not now, heart, I’m
still tired. Then it started, I declared that I like him even if he is the
meanest guy on earth. Then he asked me if I can go with him to this place, then
we went out. Would I consider it as a date? No, IMPOSIBLE! He still loves his ex. He haven’t move on yet. We went to this place he calls his “SECRET PLACE”
It was so peaceful there that my heart and mind started to argue again. “Do I
still love my past?” It bothered me badly that I even realized that I only like
the new guy as a FRIEND. What the heck is going on?!
I woke up
the next day, telling myself “I don’t love my past anymore. I don’t even like
the new guy.” AAAAAHHHHH I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do with myself.
Will I risk my heart again?
